Whoa...it's been a while since I have last blogged! Life has been changing very rapidly it seems and as I type those words I realize just how amazing this journey is. I know I am creating my life every day and it has come to my attention lately how negatively I have been thinking the past while.
It seems I have allowed my negative thoughts to rule once again. I have been plagued by this negative thought process for years. Even though I have done tons of emotional releasing of the past, I have forgotten to keep my mind focused on what I want instead of what I don't want. So today I remind myself to imagine my life as I wish it to be. I have created a beautiful life up til now and it came from keeping my mind focused on BEING happy and feeling happy. I remember the years I struggled with depression, most of my life in fact.
The simple answer is; think good thoughts.
Yesterday I got the idea of the mind being in two parts, the childlike part that wants to dream and have fun and the grown up part that worries and is afraid of what 'might happen', (worst case scenario, of course). The childlike part of the mind seems bright and happy while the grown up part seems to be dark and sad. I think I will let the childlike part come out and play for a while. Maybe I needed to allow 'the dark side' to show up so I could see how icky it feels and then smarten up and lighten up. It's my choice how I feel, it took me a long time to realize this. I choose to look at all the blessings in my life, friends, family, work that I love, a roof over my head and food in my tummy. If life is what we make it, I choose to turn over a new leaf and remember I matter, I deserve good things to happen in my life and I AM worth it!
Sincerely, Susan
Showing posts with label perspective. Show all posts
Showing posts with label perspective. Show all posts
Friday, September 16, 2011
Tuesday, March 30, 2010
I Wanna Be Just Like Her!
I keep thinking I will do this one for my next speech at Toastmasters (public speaking club) , but maybe I will use it as an inspiration instead.
I went to Toastmasters about 12 times as a 'guest' because I was afraid and unsure about joining the club. May sound silly but it is the truth.
One time members from another club joined ours for the evening. Table topics is a Toastmasters tradition to have members 'think on their feet'
for a maximum of 2 minutes. They are to speak about a topic they only know about when they are called upon.
I went to Toastmasters to have this experience and I felt so nervous sometimes I wished I had just stayed home.
On this particular evening was one of those times I wished I had stayed home, avoiding the whole nerve wracking experience. But here I was sitting in my chair trembling, because I knew sooner or later the Tabletopics person would ask me if I would like to have a turn.
I always said yes because I really did want to overcome my nervousness and anxiety.
They usually asked experienced members to go first so I knew I was OK for a while longer. As one by one the members got up and said their little spiel, I knew my turn was fast approaching. I could feel the anxiety consume me as I sat sweating in my chair, my throat tightened so I could hardly swallow, I desperately wanted a drink from my water bottle but I knew my hands would tremble violently and I didn't want to draw any attention to myself so I sat in anxiety ridden silence. Maybe they were going to call on me next...and I could feel my heart pounding in my chest. But no, they called on someone else. A member from the other club.
The woman stood up and her shoes went "tap, tap, tap" as she headed for the front of the room. She began her little talk with conviction. She spoke as if she truly knew what she was going to speak about and she passionately delivered her message. When she was finished her shoes went "tap, tap, tap" all the way back to her chair.
As I sat in my chair, I could feel my back straighten as I thought to myself, "I want to be just like her!" I want to stand up tall and walk confidently to the front of the room and speak with passion and intelligence.
Sure enough, I was asked next if I would like to give it a try and I accepted. I stood up and headed for the front of the room and even though my shoes sounded more like "clop, clop, clop", I began to speak words that formed coherent sentences and with a little humour thrown in, soon my time was done and my shoes said "clop, clop, clop" all the way back to my seat. I DID IT!!
I went to Toastmasters about 12 times as a 'guest' because I was afraid and unsure about joining the club. May sound silly but it is the truth.
One time members from another club joined ours for the evening. Table topics is a Toastmasters tradition to have members 'think on their feet'
for a maximum of 2 minutes. They are to speak about a topic they only know about when they are called upon.
I went to Toastmasters to have this experience and I felt so nervous sometimes I wished I had just stayed home.
On this particular evening was one of those times I wished I had stayed home, avoiding the whole nerve wracking experience. But here I was sitting in my chair trembling, because I knew sooner or later the Tabletopics person would ask me if I would like to have a turn.
I always said yes because I really did want to overcome my nervousness and anxiety.
They usually asked experienced members to go first so I knew I was OK for a while longer. As one by one the members got up and said their little spiel, I knew my turn was fast approaching. I could feel the anxiety consume me as I sat sweating in my chair, my throat tightened so I could hardly swallow, I desperately wanted a drink from my water bottle but I knew my hands would tremble violently and I didn't want to draw any attention to myself so I sat in anxiety ridden silence. Maybe they were going to call on me next...and I could feel my heart pounding in my chest. But no, they called on someone else. A member from the other club.
The woman stood up and her shoes went "tap, tap, tap" as she headed for the front of the room. She began her little talk with conviction. She spoke as if she truly knew what she was going to speak about and she passionately delivered her message. When she was finished her shoes went "tap, tap, tap" all the way back to her chair.
As I sat in my chair, I could feel my back straighten as I thought to myself, "I want to be just like her!" I want to stand up tall and walk confidently to the front of the room and speak with passion and intelligence.
Sure enough, I was asked next if I would like to give it a try and I accepted. I stood up and headed for the front of the room and even though my shoes sounded more like "clop, clop, clop", I began to speak words that formed coherent sentences and with a little humour thrown in, soon my time was done and my shoes said "clop, clop, clop" all the way back to my seat. I DID IT!!
Friday, March 12, 2010
Having it all together.
Every couple of months 7 of us friends get together to share dinner and wine. We have come to love these evenings as we all have a chance to share what is happening in our lives. Of course 7 women having a turn to speak leaves only so much time for each of us to share (good thing or we might need the whole week).
At our last get together one of us was mentioning all the crap that was going on in her life and that she hoped one day she would have it 'all together' like the rest of us did. We were all left looking at her with this puzzled expression of... What did she say?...she thought we all 'had it together'?? What in the world is 'having it all together'?
So one by one we tried to convice her of all the reasons why we didn't have it all together.
I remember as a teenager hanging out with friends and the arguement at that time was about who's ass was bigger. We all claimed we each had the biggest ass. Why do we put ourselves down? Why don't we have the courage to say "hey, you want the biggest ass? You can have it!" Instead we each insist ours is bigger.
Well maybe I don't have the biggest ass and maybe I do...the point is it is interesting how we look from anothers perspective.
So I will be the first to say, "I don't have the biggest ass, and I DO have it all together, and I LOVE my life, and I KNOW it is going to get better and better!!!!"
Love Susan
At our last get together one of us was mentioning all the crap that was going on in her life and that she hoped one day she would have it 'all together' like the rest of us did. We were all left looking at her with this puzzled expression of... What did she say?...she thought we all 'had it together'?? What in the world is 'having it all together'?
So one by one we tried to convice her of all the reasons why we didn't have it all together.
I remember as a teenager hanging out with friends and the arguement at that time was about who's ass was bigger. We all claimed we each had the biggest ass. Why do we put ourselves down? Why don't we have the courage to say "hey, you want the biggest ass? You can have it!" Instead we each insist ours is bigger.
Well maybe I don't have the biggest ass and maybe I do...the point is it is interesting how we look from anothers perspective.
So I will be the first to say, "I don't have the biggest ass, and I DO have it all together, and I LOVE my life, and I KNOW it is going to get better and better!!!!"
Love Susan
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