I Wanna Be Just Like Her!

I keep thinking I will do this one for my next speech at Toastmasters (public speaking club) , but maybe I will use it as an inspiration instead.
I went to Toastmasters about 12 times as a 'guest' because I was afraid and unsure about joining the club. May sound silly but it is the truth.
One time members from another club joined ours for the evening. Table topics is a Toastmasters tradition to have members 'think on their feet'
for a maximum of 2 minutes. They are to speak about a topic they only know about when they are called upon.
I went to Toastmasters to have this experience and I felt so nervous sometimes I wished I had just stayed home.
On this particular evening was one of those times I wished I had stayed home, avoiding the whole nerve wracking experience. But here I was sitting in my chair trembling, because I knew sooner or later the Tabletopics person would ask me if I would like to have a turn.
I always said yes because I really did want to overcome my nervousness and anxiety.
They usually asked experienced members to go first so I knew I was OK for a while longer. As one by one the members got up and said their little spiel, I knew my turn was fast approaching. I could feel the anxiety consume me as I sat sweating in my chair, my throat tightened so I could hardly swallow, I desperately wanted a drink from my water bottle but I knew my hands would tremble violently and I didn't want to draw any attention to myself so I sat in anxiety ridden silence. Maybe they were going to call on me next...and I could feel my heart pounding in my chest. But no, they called on someone else. A member from the other club.
The woman stood up and her shoes went "tap, tap, tap" as she headed for the front of the room. She began her little talk with conviction. She spoke as if she truly knew what she was going to speak about and she passionately delivered her message. When she was finished her shoes went "tap, tap, tap" all the way back to her chair.
As I sat in my chair, I could feel my back straighten as I thought to myself, "I want to be just like her!" I want to stand up tall and walk confidently to the front of the room and speak with passion and intelligence.
Sure enough, I was asked next if I would like to give it a try and I accepted. I stood up and headed for the front of the room and even though my shoes sounded more like "clop, clop, clop", I began to speak words that formed coherent sentences and with a little humour thrown in, soon my time was done and my shoes said "clop, clop, clop" all the way back to my seat. I DID IT!!

How would our life be different?

How would our lives be different if we lived from our fullest potential?
Sometimes when I think about this I imagine my life in the future and everything would be perfect.
But if I really was living my life from my fullest potential, maybe my life would be just the way it is today, with all my thoughts and judgements about myself and others and the beliefs that don't really make any sense when I speak them outloud. Along with that, my regrets and the distrust in people in general and how about the fear to really 'be seen' because of what everyone else must be thinking about me.
What if we were to live our fullest, best life right now today with all this stuff going on around us and knowing we aren't perfect and our lives aren't perfect...
OR...on the other hand what if we were perfect just the way we are and we are living our lives to the fullest potential every day and it's OK just the way it is. What if we could just relax and accept ourselves for who we are and believe we are doing the best we can every day, and we could just let our lives live through us without trying to control it. What if it was perfect with all the imperfections?
I am willing to accept my life and myself just the way things are.
Acceptance is FREEDOM! Susan

I never thought about this too much before but as I walked along the beach this morning a realization came through me.
That anger does not always go hand in hand with being mean spirited.
I think I had a belief that an angry person meant a mean person. Even a person who showed anger also must have a mean streak, I thought.
I have done alot of emotional clearing, myself, about anger. Growing up, my dad was angry alot, he raged alot and he was mean spirited. I was terrified of him, especially when I was a little girl.
Now, as I facilitate emotional release healing for others, I can totally see that being mean and angry don't always go together. It never dawned on me until this morning that possibly in my heart I carried that fear about myself. In the past I have had a tendancy to have a bit of an angry side or maybe it could be said, quick to anger (read more about this in my book http://www.healingeverybody.com/). I wonder...have I been mean too? Something I will sit with. Also, guess what? I can still get pretty roaring angry. When we clear out the emotional baggage, all the emotions still pass through us. They just don't get stuck inside us anymore. It's kind of fun to feel that energy pass through. But guess what else? I don't take it out on anyone anymore. No blaming someone else for my anger. I can just feel rip roaring angry about something and then I can just let it go. For me, this is called FREEDOM. Susan